PAGE 11 June Issue 2021 PAGE 09 June Issue 2021
to the civilian world was far more difficult than I ever would have
imagined." Green's struggles began in early childhood growing up with
an alcoholic father and meth-addicted mother, forcing him to suffer
severe neglect and abuse, while raising his younger siblings. The
stigmas surrounding mental health and masculinity in his rural town
created a "just get over it" mentality which isolated him from those
who may have otherwise been an outlet.
Desperate to escape his small town and familial abuse, he joined the
navy following high school and didn't experience any setbacks during
his service until he returned home. The lack of support re-entering the
world caused him to struggle to find work and support himself as well
as find stability without the structure he'd grown accustomed to. He
also had a hard time creating bonds with people outside of the
military, worsening his isolation and driving him to seek solace in
alcohol. "I think I drank to forget everything that brought me down,"
he said. "It's all I really felt I had in my life at the time. I wish I had
someone that would listen to and understand what I was going
through."
According to Andrew Carter, a 24-year-old Kansas City, Missouri
resident who re-entered civilian life during the COVID-19 pandemic,
these transitional issues are still present. As a teenager, Carter was
forced into homelessness and has since struggled with stability,
especially returning home amid lockdowns. "The world changed so
much in just a year and they didn't know how to tell us – we were just
so isolated," he said. "Nine months out of 2020 I had no contact with
anyone. It blew me away when I started learning what everyone had
been up to."
Though Carter said the military has come a long way to implement
procedures for peer support, including buddy systems to check in on
one another, the procedures to properly transition someone from
battle ready to civilian life simply aren't there. He frequently sees an
overwhelming population of homeless service members, including
peers of his, living on the streets of Kansas City. Carter worries about
the consequences of putting people still in a "ready-to-kill" mentality
and fresh out of violent locations onto the streets without emotional
support and basic resources. Carrying trauma without the ability or
safe space to process it can make one prone to emotional outbursts
which grabs the attention of bystanders and potentially law
enforcement. Homelessness is often criminalized and people who seem
to be mentally unwell or using substances are often stigmatized rather
than recognized as someone in need of care.
In men of all ages, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
symptoms
may be misdiagnosed as anger or hyperactivity issues if they can't
acknowledge or communicate that they've experienced trauma. Boys
and men are so discouraged from exploring and understanding their
emotions that pain is immediately repressed and trauma may go
unacknowledged for quite some time. Violence witnessed in the
military, abuse at any age, and homelessness, among other factors,
can all cause trauma. As the trauma continues unrecognized, the
surrounding memories, emotions, and triggers compound and even
day-to-day occurrences can set off a painful memory and flurry of
confusing and explosive reactions. Boys and men, including and
especially those at high-risk of PTSD, need mental health treatment
that seeks to answer "what happened to you" versus "what's wrong
with you" and deserve care, not criminalization.
Treatment Offers Answers
Any type of mental health challenge left untreated can ultimately
compound into a larger issue. Getting a diagnosis not only provides a
starting point for treatment options but also a community of people
who can understand and relate. Therapy, whether in a group,
facilitated by peers, or one-on-one with a counselor, offers a space to
explore challenging emotions, memories, and questions about one's
identity. For Harry Lewis, a 21-year-old former missionary in Idaho, a
diagnosis finally answered the question, why me?
When Lewis lost an uncle struggling with addiction to suicide, he
realized he also felt an unescapable sadness within him. After high
school he became a missionary and while he could easily accept that
others were worthy and deserving of love, he couldn't apply the same
beliefs to himself. He tried to take his own life but did not succeed and
was sent home early for treatment, leaving him feeling ashamed and
weak as though he faked a crisis to get out of the mission. However,
the subsequent years of therapy and psychiatric treatment, as well as
official diagnoses of depression, anxiety, and ADHD, validated
everything he felt up to this point. "After years of my life thinking that
I was a freak or immature, I finally knew why I was like this," he said.
"I wasn't weak, I wasn't flawed, I just had some disorders."
Kevin Clark, 32, is a genderqueer person (they/them) living in
Massachusetts who was also given an ADHD diagnosis after they
began school-provided therapy following an ER trip for
overconsumption of marijuana in college. "Therapy probably saved my
life – I had been living with a baseline, low-level suicidal urge for
longer than I could remember," they said. Equipped with a diagnosis,
Clark has since found the TikTok app has a great community of people
with ADHD educating and supporting others. Tools learned in therapy
and the safe space to explore themselves also allowed Clark to explore
their gender and sexuality and Lewis to address shame surrounding
adolescent judgments regarding his bisexual orientation.
Men Need Other Men
Out of the seven people interviewed for this article, six have struggled
with both substance abuse and suicidal thoughts throughout their
lives. Four of the men interviewed have either attempted suicide or
took steps with the intent to such as acquiring weapons or writing a
note. Three reported they still are not seeking treatment – therapy,
medicine, or otherwise – due to fear of what will arise emotionally,
continued stigma from loved ones, or because they have not found
someone with whom they feel comfortable. When asked, "what did you
wish someone had said to you when you first realized you needed
help?" the answers overwhelmingly indicated that what men are
missing most is the support, comfort, and transparent vulnerability of
other men.
Honest conversations about mental health and substance use
normalize the topics and help form a community showing others they
are not alone and support is available. Resources for those needing
peer support, veteran support, mental health diagnoses and
treatment, and more are listed below. "The longer you ignore what
you're going through, the worse you'll feel," said Williams, who has
found comfort and success with weekly therapy since 2019. "You
deserve to understand where your thoughts and emotions come from,
as well as how to handle them when they feel uncontrollable." This
June, celebrate Men's Health Month by joining the conversation on
social media. Get information about the campaign and social media
images to jump start the conversation.
Warning signs of suicide include thoughts of worthlessness, being
trapped, feeling like a burden, and becoming withdrawn or isolated. If
you are experiencing these thoughts or are suicidal, call the 24/7
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.8255 to receive
judgment-free support and learn more about resources available to
help.
Peer support
● Men's support groups in Missouri
(including therapy and telehealth)
● Virtual chat rooms on a variety of mental health topics
● Nationwide directory of peer support programs
● Anxiety and Depression Association of America peer-to-peer
support group
Mental Health Education and support
● Attention Deficit Disorder Association
● Autism Society of America
● Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
● Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
● Emotions Anonymous (information about depression/bipolar
disorder & information for friends and family)
Substance Use & Comorbidities
● Dual Recovery Anonymous (they also offer an extensive separate
website that focuses on co-occurring disorders)
● Alcoholics Anonymous
● Narcotics Anonymous
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) & Resources for
Veterans
● Gift from Within & Trauma Support Resources
● Gateway to PTSD Information
● Angel Wings for Veterans (for injured veterans' ongoing healing
process)
● Cause USA (help for those wounded in military service)
● National Center for PTSD offers "Understanding PTSD: A Guide for
Family and Friends"
● U.S. Vets
Self-harm & Suicide Prevention
● SAMHSA Suicide Prevention
● S.A.F.E. Alternatives (information and resources for help with self-
injury)
● Suicide Prevention Resource Center
● Yellow Ribbon offers information and resources about suicide
prevention for teens, parents, and others. Has chapters in many
states and some other countries as well as support resources for
those who have lost a loved one to suicide.
Hotlines
● Child-Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 (1-800-4-A-Child) assists both
child and adult survivors of abuse, including sexual abuse. The
hotline, staffed by mental health professionals, also provides
treatment referrals.
● Boys Town at 1-800-448-3000 is a crisis, resource, and referral
line that assists both teens and parents.
● National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-
273-8255) connects you with a 24-hour crisis center.
● SAMHSA's Treatment Locator at 1-800-662-4357 provides you with
information about local mental health services
