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- 23 - accessHealthNews.net March 2022 Volume 8 | Issue No. 55 D iscussions abound of gender norms in all forms of media, but information and opinion often clash. One phrase entering common vernacular is "toxic masculinity," a term which has sparked considerable vitriol for the implications it has about the effects of some masculine gender norms — in other words, expectations men face about their behaviors and lifestyles because they are men. While femininity and masculinity are neither inherently good nor bad, ethical nor unethical, toxic masculinity describes a set of societal expectations about men that are explicitly damaging. Cambridge dictionary defines the term as "ideas about the way that men should behave that are seen as harmful, for example the idea that men should not cry or admit weakness." WHAT IS TOXIC MASCULINITY? "'Big boys don't cry. Suck it up. Shut up and rub some dirt on it. Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.' These are just a few of the phrases that contribute to a disease in our society, and more specifically in our men," said Eldra Jackson at the beginning of his TED Talk about toxic masculinity. These phrases encompass some of toxic masculinity's ideas about how men should act, such as living up to a romanticized image of strength and stoicism, no matter the harm to the man or the people around him. "I have been told to 'man up' my whole life," said Russell Robinson, a 43-year-old father from Kansas City, Missouri. "Being the oldest male in a single mother household, I was expected not to show any emotions. When emotions did come out, they were met with a variation of 'I'll give you something to cry about.'" Because Robinson wasn't able to show emotions growing up – especially sadness, embarrassment or betrayal – he bottled them up until they inevitably exploded into angry outbursts. For Robinson and many others, men never cried, buckled under pressure or showed vulnerability. A paradigm shift for Robinson came with the birth of his daughter. Knowing he had to be a positive role model for her meant he had to demonstrate it was okay to feel and express a wide range of emotions. "We are the products of our parents and how they nurture our feelings and validate our emotions," he said. "I apologize to her when I'm wrong and I listen to her opinion when she has an idea or suggestion. I want to give her the foundation of a loving caring male in her life." Concepts like strength, fortitude and physical prowess are commonly associated with masculinity. By themselves, these concepts are not inherently problematic or damaging. Masculinity becomes toxic when having authority over others becomes central to a man's identity, and when the pressure to embody these ideals is so great that there is no room for vulnerability or other traits associated with femininity, even when those traits are natural or healthy. Refusing to ask for help, to admit a lack of knowledge, to offer or ask for emotional support, to take proper precautions to avoid or take care of an injury, or to apologize, among other behaviors, are often a consequence of being afraid to seem weak. Such perceived weakness is grounds for bullying even from a young age, when boys (and girls) police and reinforce stereotypically masculine behavior in one another with insults like "girly" or "gay." The phrase "like a girl" remains a commonplace insult among children across America. Masculinity becomes toxic when having authority over others becomes central to a man's identity, and when the pressure to embody these ideals is so great that there is no room for vulnerability or other traits associated with femininity, even when those traits are natural or healthy. READ MORE

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