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- 9 - accessHealthNews.net October 2023 Volume 9 | Issue No. 75 Domestic Violence is the third leading cause of homelessness among families. According to the latest stats, three women are murdered every day in the United States by a current or former male partner. Women with disabilities are 40 percent more likely to experience intimate partner violence (IPV) – especially severe violence – than women without disabilities. One in four women will be victims of severe IPV in their lifetimes. Eight million days are missed per year by working women who are abused. This equates to 32,000 full-time jobs. Every time you count to nine, a woman is beaten in the U.S. IPV equates to 18,500,000 mental health visits, with the average cost of care in an ER at $948 per visit. IPV is the leading cause of female homicide and injury-related deaths during pregnancy. Women who are victims of domestic violence are eight times more likely to be killed by an intimate partner if there are firearms in the home. In 98 percent of domestic violence cases, there is evidence of financial abuse. (The number one reason domestic violence survivors stay or return to an abusive relationship is because the abuser controls their money supply, leaving them with no financial means to break free.) Abuser Characteristics But how can one person yield so much power over another, virtually leaving her helpless, afraid and dependent? According to an article from Psychology Today, in many instances, abusers exhibit at least one of the following: antisocial personality disorder, which can be characterized by deceitfulness, repeated lying, use of aliases or conning others for personal profit or pleasure; borderline personality disorder, which is a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships by alternating between extreme idealizations (overestimating the desirable qualities of his partner and underestimating their limitations); and devaluation (minimizing his partner's value). An abuser with a narcissistic personality disorder has a grandiose sense of self-importance. One domestic violence survivor quotes her abuser, "What do you want? An apology? You deserve worse. You should be grateful that I love you so much." These words were spewed after he punched her so hard that he knocked her out of the passenger seat of his car for accidentally putting her purse on his lap while she tried to close the door. Her purse touched some of his stuff, so he got violent. Another abuser said the first time he laid his hands on his wife was just weeks after their wedding. He says he got jealous after a party because she was dancing with someone else. "It set me off," he said. "I remember walking up to her and smacking her full force. I grabbed her by her neck and kind of held her against the car. Then, I walked her over to the bushes and threw her in there and just started choking her. [It was with every bit of rage, every bit of anger I've ever had.]" After the first incident of abuse, he held a gun to his head and swore it would never happen again. His wife forgave him. However, the abuse persisted for two-and-a-half years, even after his wife became pregnant. "She didn't want to be intimate with me…She didn't want to have sex with me and I got very furious. I got on top of her and sat on her stomach." He goes on to say when he was in rage and beating his wife he wanted her to die. "I had every intention to take her life. I felt like I had power and control over something in my life. It made me feel invincible." READ MORE "I was just a kid. The abuse started when I was only 15 years old. I didn't know my worth then. Through the years, I learned my value. Life's experiences either edify you or destroy you. Today, I feel empowered, strong, courageous and confident. Most importantly, I know my worth."

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