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5/ TheBucknerClarion.com October 9, 2014 Too Sad to Live A Call-to-Action to Help Prevent Suicide for New Year's Eve. We [just] had a long-winded conversation about what we'd wear. To this day, some 20 years later, I still struggle with how I missed it…According to Harvard Health, this is not uncommon. "Many people who commit suicide do so without letting on they are thinking about it or planning it," said Dr. Michael Miller, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. More than 100 Americans commit suicide every day—making it the leading cause of death overall, third among 15- to 24-year-olds and fourth among 25- to 44-year-olds. Although some suicide victims have an identifiable mental health disorder like depression or addiction, others don't. Annmarie Dadoly, a Harvard Health Publications author, blogged that, "Many suicides are impulsive acts, with the decision to do it being made just minutes or hours before the act." Dadoly later committed suicide. No warning Experts will say for those who are left behind and ask, "What did I miss?" The answer is simple: nothing. "Many people never let on what they are feeling or planning. The paradox is that the people who are most intent on committing suicide know that they have to keep their plans to themselves if they are to carry out the act," said Dr. Miller. "Thus, the people most in need of help may be the toughest ones to save." Teen Suicide Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10 to 24. More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease – combined. The pressures to commit suicide are growing. School room bullying, now coupled with cyber bullying, is enabling bullies to follow their victims wherever they go. Now, there is a new social media craze that feeds something called suicide contagion. Suicide contagion refers to the process whereby one suicide or suicidal act within a school, community or geographic area increases the likelihood that others will attempt or complete suicide. Suicide contagion can lead to a suicide "cluster," where a number of connected suicides occur following an initial death. Although there is no singular cause of suicide, factors are commonly tied to at least one area of the teen's life: biological, sociological, psychological and existential. Biological factors include things like family history of mental illness and/or alcohol and drug abuse, depression, learning disorders, physical appearance, disability or illness, sexual orientation and anxiety. Psychological factors are feelings like, "I am too stupid," "I am not worthy," "Things would be better if I wasn't around," or "I hate myself." Existential could include perspectives like, "Life is useless," "Things will never get better" or "What's the point of trying?" Sociological factors may include drug and alcohol abuse, no one to talk with, exposure to suicide, relationship problems, divorce, death, abuse and bullying. Kaelynn was bullied for years, tormented even before she was 10 years old. Now a teenager, she posted a video online that describes what she went through. In her own words, she holds up a series of notes written on cardboard: "I smile, I love. I fight for what I believe in, I appear strong. "But I have a secret. "I was physically abused for two years. "Then after my mom died, I was sexually abused. "Because of the abuse, I developed PTSD and stuttered severely. "I was bullied for years and no one stood up for me. "They called me meth head, orphan, worthless, a mistake, freak, retard, faker. "I never let them see me cry or let them know I hated myself. "I was hated for being myself, and I began to hate me. "My first suicide attempt was in the fifth grade." She holds up a photo of a teenaged boy with whitish-blonde hair. "Jacob Rogers was one of my best friends. "On December 7, 2011, he took his own life. "Bullies kill. Words scar. Rumors By Tonia Wright (Continued from page 1) destroy." Warning signs Some suicides and suicide attempts don't come completely out of the blue. Some people consciously or subconsciously drop hints. Here are a few warning signs: • Talking about suicide • Seeking the means to commit suicide by get- ting access to guns, pills, etc. • No hope for the future • Self-loathing • Getting affairs in order • Saying goodbye As for Linh, I think her ER doctor summed it up best after attempts to revive her failed: "The hole in her heart was simply too big to repair." For me, the impact of those words hold the same punch now as they did then. For those of us who are left behind, we should honor those we've lost by using our time and talents to advocate for suicide prevention. Whether it's working with schools or community groups to stop bullying, serving as a mentor for an at-risk teen, or being a steady shoulder for a friend or family member, we can make a difference. With a dose of sensitivity and awareness, we can fill chasms in the heart that lead to the kind of despair that ends in suicide– in some cases, anyway. Personally, I'd like to believe that no hurt is too huge to repair… To learn more about suicide prevention, visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention at AFSP.org. If you are contemplating suicide and would like help, call 1.800.273.TALK (8255).

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